Sunday, December 26, 2010

Frosty Balls Ride 2010 (Went Horribly Wrong)

Well every year my buddy Mike has a run on the Sunday after Christmas to celebrate his birthday. It has been dubbed "The Frosty Balls Ride".
The run goes from his shop (Mike Well's Motor Works) to Big Daddy's Wagon Wheel Tavern. A whopping 15 miles. Last year there was over 150 bikes. Today was the 10th annual... Forecast - Nor' Easter heading in this afternoon...Fuck it... I'm going. I haven’t started the '50 Pan since I rolled in from Brookfield NY in August, but it was my only bike with new tires, so I oiled it, gassed it, batteried it and fired it... up. I put the buddy seat on for Kelly who has gone on this ride with me for the past few years and we headed to the shop for the 1 PM meet time. Now it just started lightly snowing as we pulled away from the house. I figured maybe a half dozen hearty souls would show up. To my surprise there was about 20 bikes there already! A few more showed up as we bull shitted in and around the shop. Probably thirty bikes in all. Well the snow was really starting to come down and the topic of "What are we gonna do?" started to bubble up. People looked at Mike... Mike looked across the crowd at me...I said "I don't know what the rest of you are doing but I'm going to the fuckin' Wagon Wheel!" With that it was on! Mike took the lead as usual and me and another guy right behind him. We pulled out and headed down the road...not too bad... at first. Now I've been riding in the snow since I was 17 years old but I'm guessin' a lot of the others have not. The first half of the ride was a little dicey but doable. When we hit Route 313 it all turned to shit!
Route 313 is a 55 mile an hour two lane country road with long hills and valleys. It was a sheet of ice covered in fresh powder! We made our way about a mile and I saw Mike's feet go down ski style...oh shit. He managed to get off the road into a small lot. The other guy missed it. I said fuck it and kept going down one hill and up the next. Cars were sliding everywhere. It was brutal. As I came to the bottom of one hill a buddy of mine Danny came by and tried going up the next hill. The shovelhead ended up facing me and on its side! The other guy that missed the turn pulled off and I stopped to check things out and take a leak. It was fuckin' mayhem, cars sliding everywhere and no other bikes were coming down the hill. Danny called his son to come get him in the pick up. I looked at Kelly and said, "Oh well I guess we'll try to head back. I don't think anybody's goin' to the Wagon Wheel now". The weather was getting worse by the minute...I've never seen conditions change this fast. Brave soul that she is, Kelly jumped back on the buddy seat and up the hill (that we just slid down) we went. By the way, all on a hand shift with a (now do to ice) "suicidal" foot clutch...As we crept up the hill, hoping the sliding cars wouldn't hit us or stop in front of us, we started to see bikes, here and there off the sides of the road. In driveways, or lots or wherever they ended up. Then the flashing lights of the cop cars. A group had made the stop where Mike turned off and they were standing there looking at the road and all the utter mayhem going on. I looked over at Mike as I motored by and flipped him a Peace sign and kept going! He nodded. I then realized this was probably all my doing, "...I'm going to the fuckin' Wagon Wheel", started going through my head... another group of bikes was off to the right, they waved and "Bug Man" who had been riding his trike yelled something encouraging...I think!
I'm not sure if anyone else rode away from that mess. I saw some pick ups with trailers heading in their direction as I rode along (with one foot down the whole way). I asked Kelly if I should drop her at a store and come back to get her on four wheels...she I said...brave. We made it to the Cross Roads Tavern pulled in and had a beer to celebrate, just her and I. (Happy Birthday Mike!) She admitted that she was more cold then scared.
We ended up gettin' home just fine...I guess I'll hear about the rest of 'em later...shit...I guess they all got back eventually.

Can't wait 'til next year!


  1. Merry Christmas Jeff! That story wasnt horrible at all- sounds like a good time. there was no riding for us in New Siberia today

  2. Great story Jeff. What kind of tires are you running ? (they look like Continentals ?)

  3. Yes Continental K 112s.I always liked 'em in bad weather.

  4. Makes me realise what a wuss I am... bike stays in the garage these days if there's even a hint of snow or ice.